Everyone is fighting their own battles in their head, alone and disconnected. We all walk around so absorbed in our own world, our own stuff and challenges. Some days they seem insignificant and some days they are so overwhelming it can be hard to breathe. We swing from being ok to being absorbed in doubt and fear, from being strong and feeling tough to falling apart and being consumed by our emotions…

It was this morning when an “old” friend just popped in digitally, to say hello and mostly to say thanks. Thanks for sharing some posts on Facebook. I generally share what I feel moved by, either on a personal level or something I know someone is dealing with currently in their life. It is my way of sharing a thought that might give someone a glimmer of hope or just enough to know they are not alone and that they can make it through another day. 

She came and filled my cup with her gratitude and she also reminded me of how important it is to stop and connect with each other. We live in a digital world of technology and devices that seemingly brings us closer together and at the same time create so much separation. It creates an illusion of connection and what we think is really going on. We think everyone is fine because their pictures are filled with smiles on Facebook or Instagram but underneath there is pain, sadness, struggles and fear.

She reminded me of how I can serve no-one when I am absorbed in my own “stuff”, because this is the very disconnect that creates the loneliness and isolation we try and avoid. We all want to be accepted, loved and connected but we are so afraid of judgement and rejection that we don’t have the courage to be honest about what we are dealing with in our lives. We are so afraid of the “dark” side that we avoid it at all costs and unfortunately we feed the isolation that way. We don’t always connect in the “light”, sometimes we connect much more in the “dark”, in our pain. If one has the courage to say, “hey I’m having a tough day…” perhaps we would create an opportunity, perhaps it will give someone else the courage to say the same and then there is space for compassion, then we have space to connect, to support, to listen and just perhaps, allow others to feel like they are not alone in the dark… after all, we all go there from time to time. We secretly hope to find someone there that can hold that safe space for us when we need it, when we need a moment to just catch our breath again. 

In a world filled with instant gratification, we have lost the real deep connection we get from each other. No post or amount of “likes” will ever replace the feeling of being cared for by another human being. I thank my friend for being brave enough and reaching out this morning, daring to step outside of the light long enough to share a small bit of gratitude from a momentary space of hope and relief from her pain, even if it was just for a moment, it was a moment that allowed us to connect again in compassion, in caring and in love.

Hold that safe and gentle space for someone and you will receive it back, give with love and compassion so it can find its way back to you. Be brave enough to be vulnerable and create the opportunity to allow a real connection to happen. Be brave enough to give the love and understanding that you are seeking. Be brave enough to do it with such consistency that it will find its way back to you tenfold..


Connecting with you in love

Anneme Coetzee

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