Everyone is fighting their own battles in their head, alone and disconnected. We all walk around so absorbed in our own world, our own stuff and challenges. Some days they seem insignificant and some days they are so overwhelming it can be hard to breathe. We swing from being ok to being absorbed in doubt and fear, from being strong and feeling tough to falling apart and being consumed by our emotions…

It was this morning when an “old” friend just popped in digitally, to say hello and mostly to say thanks. Thanks for sharing some posts on Facebook. I generally share what I feel moved by, either on a personal level or something I know someone is dealing with currently in their life. It is my way of sharing a thought that might give someone a glimmer of hope or just enough to know they are not alone and that they can make it through another day. 

She came and filled my cup with her gratitude and she also reminded me of how important it is to stop and connect with each other. We live in a digital world of technology and devices that seemingly brings us closer together and at the same time create so much separation. It creates an illusion of connection and what we think is really going on. We think everyone is fine because their pictures are filled with smiles on Facebook or Instagram but underneath there is pain, sadness, struggles and fear.

She reminded me of how I can serve no-one when I am absorbed in my own “stuff”, because this is the very disconnect that creates the loneliness and isolation we try and avoid. We all want to be accepted, loved and connected but we are so afraid of judgement and rejection that we don’t have the courage to be honest about what we are dealing with in our lives. We are so afraid of the “dark” side that we avoid it at all costs and unfortunately we feed the isolation that way. We don’t always connect in the “light”, sometimes we connect much more in the “dark”, in our pain. If one has the courage to say, “hey I’m having a tough day…” perhaps we would create an opportunity, perhaps it will give someone else the courage to say the same and then there is space for compassion, then we have space to connect, to support, to listen and just perhaps, allow others to feel like they are not alone in the dark… after all, we all go there from time to time. We secretly hope to find someone there that can hold that safe space for us when we need it, when we need a moment to just catch our breath again. 

In a world filled with instant gratification, we have lost the real deep connection we get from each other. No post or amount of “likes” will ever replace the feeling of being cared for by another human being. I thank my friend for being brave enough and reaching out this morning, daring to step outside of the light long enough to share a small bit of gratitude from a momentary space of hope and relief from her pain, even if it was just for a moment, it was a moment that allowed us to connect again in compassion, in caring and in love.

Hold that safe and gentle space for someone and you will receive it back, give with love and compassion so it can find its way back to you. Be brave enough to be vulnerable and create the opportunity to allow a real connection to happen. Be brave enough to give the love and understanding that you are seeking. Be brave enough to do it with such consistency that it will find its way back to you tenfold..

Connecting with you in love

Anneme Coetzee

What constitutes trauma?

A traumatic event is an incident that causes physical, emotional and / or psychological harm. It could be an accident, an assault, rape, death, illness / injury, divorce, abuse, a natural disaster such as a fire, flood or earthquake or a house break-in.

Immediately after experiencing a distressing event, shock and denial are common emotional responses. If the trauma is properly processed, the incident and its impact on the individual is minimised.

So what is PTSD?

PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder which   occurs when trauma is inadequately managed and / or the overwhelming stress resulting from  an event exceeds one’s ability to cope and successfully integrate the emotions triggered by the experience.

People re-experience a traumatic event through recurring recollections, flashbacks and nightmares. Emotional numbness can result. Avoidance of places, people or activities which are reminders of the trauma or may trigger distressing memories, is common. Other symptoms may be Insomnia, concentration difficulties, feeling ‘jumpy’, and being easily startled, irritated or angered.

Symptoms may occur directly after the event or surface months or even years later,  and can be severely debilitating unless adequately addressed

So what can you do? NLP Life coaching deals directly with the emotions involved, and helps you to  clear and integrate the traumatic experience so that it no longer derails you and you can get back to living every day to the full!

Book a free information session with one of our coaches

Some people describe suffering as the space between reality and expectation. Another way of seeing it is unfulfilled ideals. When we have certain pictures or ideals in mind of how our  lives are supposed to look, what we should have accomplished, where we chould have been, and what we should have had, we experience emotional suffering. But what is the root of our suffering?

A woman who wanted children of her own but has to undergo an emergency hysterectomy at a young age and is now unable ,might experience emotional suffering as a result. Is there another way of experiencing that kind of fulfilment and love? Perhaps she could choose to change her ‘picture/vision’  to adopting a child, considering a surrogate, or devoting her life to orphans… other options are still available.

For an aspiring Olympic athlete losing a toe in a climbing accident could mean inability to continue competing and consequent suffering.  Unless they change their ‘picture’ to perhaps becoming an Olympic athlete trainer or, or, or… they could endure unnecessary suffering.

Dr Wayne W. Dyer tells us: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

How might it feel if you were to just loosen your grasp on whatever is the root of your suffering? It actually will really help if you are able to visualize yourself letting go of what you were grasping for and imagine you are freeing yourself from the idea or thought that creates the suffering.

You will find that letting go of even one painful thought makes all the difference. Try to remember that there is always more than one way to reach our destination.

Should you choose to want to work with one of our coaches, we assist our clients  in letting  go of negative emotions and allow for a deeper understanding whilst creating alternative options to alleviate suffering and live the life of your dreams.

Book a free information session with one of our coaches